Frat Boys and Shabbos

I’ve been thinking lately about how much this place feels like a frat and it makes me sick at times. I mean there was a reason I stayed away from frats in college and now scarcely under a year and a half out of college I feel stuck in one. Maybe it’s just me, maybe it’s all in my head but there are times I just want to scream and shout. Case in point, my whole life I’ve had guy friends, but usually my closest friends end up being women. I’ve always had an easier time confiding in them, and here I scarcely have the opportunity to meet the kind of girls I could become friends with, it’s tough for me at times. It can be an isolating feeling, feeling like there is no one here who I can truly confide in. Who can relate to me in a meaningful way. And the Frat mentality of this place is just weird I’ve never been a guy’s guy, I’m not the type. Luckily I’ve made great friends and have plenty to keep myself occupied, I’m very happy with my decision to come here and I have no intention of leaving but it can be difficult and I suspect that will never change. Today at the Shabbos table I almost punched a kid in the face. We were talking about our families, how we spend the holidays and he kept asking me what the point was if we didn’t do it exactly right, if we made compromises then why do it at all? Now this kid grew up in a Frum home, with Frum friends in his own little universe. He doesn’t know anything else, doesn’t understand what it like for kids like me who grew up in non-observant homes. But I have to say his cheek really got to me. I mean how dare he question my family, tell me that we’re not authentic and if we don’t do everything exactly ‘perfect’ then why bother. In the end I just closed my mouth and ate a wonderful Shabbos lunch. Luckily I didn’t let that ruin my Shabbos. Last night a few friends and I had dinner with one of the Rabbi’s from Aish, he makes his own wine, and is an amazing man. Sitting at the table with him, listening to him speak, about life, love and Judaism was truly inspiring. We all stumbled happily back to the Old City and fell soundly asleep. After the lunch incident, I took a nap and ended Shabbat with Havdallah at the Kotel. It’s still an incredible experience to get to walk down there whenever I want to. That’s all from the Holy land for today it’s starting to get cold and I’m headed off to bed. I also want to apologize to everyone for not emailing more often, I truly love hearing from all of you, it makes me smile to see my mail box full. Eretz Israel.

Mea Shearim

I had a tour of Mea Shearim last week and it’s been on my mind a lot since then. Mea Shearim is the first settlement built around Jerusalem; it is also one of the most religious communities around. Walking though it I couldn’t help being stuck by mixed emotions. It’s a beautiful place, bustling, frenetic and warm. People walk around with kids hanging on to their mother’s arms, every dialect of Hebrew, English and other languages can be heard spoken in the crowded streets. The smell of fresh baked breads and sweets waft in the air. And yet I can’t help but feeling incredibly sad. I feel as though I’ve been transported back in time, I feel like these people have cut themselves off from the world, without thinking about what exists outside of their little community. At the same time you can’t help but realize the people living in this community see every type of person imaginable, they’re exposed to all walks of life. It can’t be helped its such an amazing community that anyone who comes to Jerusalem wants to see it. In a weird way the people growing up in Mea Shearim see more people then anyone else in the world. It’s so strange, the people who live in this community are happy, it’s plainly obvious. But that’s not reality, is it? Now here’s the thing, these people live largely happy lives, they’re happy where they are and though some grow up and leave, many of them choose to stay right where they are. It’s a community where everyone knows one another, where people help each other. When you walk down the road people look each other in the eye, they stop frequently engaging each other in conversation, haggling over the price of little items. But once again, is this reality? How can anyone be sure of what reality is? Perhaps what I consider the real world is totally false, maybe these people have it right and I have it completely wrong. And what if I am wrong? What if the way I live my life is totally false? I know a man who lives in Mea Shearim, he’s seen the world and this in the place he has chosen. He has a great family, and loves his life, he’s been all around the world and this is the place he’s chosen, where will I choose? What’s my version of reality?

Another week another dollar (or something of the sort)

Just to update my status from the last post I’m feeling much better today. After two days of terrible stomach pains I woke up this morning feeling fine. From talking with the locals I came to the conclusion that it was the water. Basically water is treated differently everywhere and just about everyone who comes to Israel deals with their body adjusting to it around the two week mark, thank god for feeling better. Some friends and I went to a park last night and had a bonfire, it was a great crowd of people with everyone singing, talking, etc. I spent most of the time tending the fire and looking up at the night sky, the clouds were low; it was beautiful. I can’t believe that it’s Thursday already and another Shabbos is almost upon us. The first week of classes I had here were all discombobulated, meant to be a general overview with no continuity from class to class or day to day. Now that I’ve moved into a new program every class builds on the other so we cover a lot more. I’m very grateful for a new challenge. This whole trip is starting to feel very real. It’s gotten past the point of being a vacation. I was talking with my sister a little while ago, about this blog about some of the things I’ve written and one thing that came up was how living in the Old City can be like living in a bubble. I have a class that teaches Jewish Morals and Ethics and we talked about modesty this week. How when you live around things you very quickly become accustomed to those things. And after a while you don’t even realize what you’re seeing and fail to see what could be wrong with it. I know it will be weird going back to America when I eventually do and watching television again, seeing magazines and newspapers, I wonder how I’ll feel about it all. It’s just not like that here, your not exposed to the openness of American culture, everything in the Old City revolves around the beliefs of the people living here and those beliefs are very different then those of New York. It’s all strange and exciting learning about so many new topics, thinking and rethinking how I live my life. So all in all another wonderful week, this place continues to amaze me. Eretz Israel.

Ugh

My stomach hurts, I think I had a mild fever last night and I had strange dreams involving Harry Potter and Lord Voldemort they were very, very weird. It also is looking like rain here in the Old City, I think I’ll hole up tonight and read. I’ve been feeling like I haven’t been doing enough lately. That I should be learning more, pushing myself harder, I don’t know. I think I’ve been going pretty hard, and I think I need to relax a little, take it easy for a few days. I’m not sure what has brought about these feelings. I but I suppose it was due. Not every moment can be wonderful, this is life after all and ups and downs are a part of the deal. I went to a lecture at Mayanot last light, I have to say Chassidish can be cool, I like the emphasis on feelings. I’m going to take it easy and Read: Into the Wild it’s a fantastic book. Those of you in New York should check out Yom Tov Glazer tonight at Aish NY, its in the 80’s on the West Side, I can guarantee an interesting lecture if you attend.

Hebron

Who are you??
What are you doing here??
Where are you from??
Do you know the person your with??

Before I knew it the world was buzzing around me I was surrounded by five or six people some in IDF uniforms, some in plain clothes, I was asked for my passport and peppered with questions, welcome to Hebron. Let’s start at the beginning. Early this week we studied the weeks Parasha, the portion of the Torah that we read from that week. Its called Chayei Sarah and found in the book of Genesis. In it we hear about Abraham, Abraham has come to Hebron; to the land that g-d has promised him looking for a place to bury his dead wife Sarah. He negotiates with the locals, insisting on paying full price for a piece of land that was offered to him by its owner. This is the first recorded payment for the land of Israel by Jews and its only one of three places in the Chumash (aka the Hebrew Bible) where this happens. And so on this particular Shabbat Jews from all over the world stream into Israel to show their solidarity. Why do Jews do this you might ask? This is because Hebron is one of the most disputed pieces of land in the world. It sits soundly in the West Bank, in an area that is 97% Arab. And so once a year Jews make a pilgrimage to this place, it is one of the holiest places in Israel, Abraham, Sarah, Isaac, Rachel, Adam and Eve are all buried in a cave that sits below what is now an Arab Mosque. This is not exactly the safest place for a Jew in “united Israel” but on this one weekend, everyone floods in. The army sends down extra units and tightens security. And so I found myself going on the adventure of a life time. Before I left with my friends, Todd, Daniel and Yoav, I was asked a simple question; do you know what its like to be in a war zone? “No” well you’re about to. And so early Friday afternoon we loaded our gear on a bus and headed off. Hebron is approximately a forty five minute drive from Jerusalem. We arrived with just enough time to set up camp before the sun went down and Shabbos began. Normally when Shabbos begins a sense of calm fills the air, anything that you didn’t have time to get done must wait for the next 25 hours or so while you are left to yourself to wonder in gods creation, not so this time. As we and the large groups of new friends who we just made welcomed in the Sabbath, gun shots rage softly in the distance. Our Arab neighbors were welcoming us to the neighborhood. We collected our Siddurs (prayer books) and headed off to the Mosque. As we walked down the road; we noticed the multitude of soldiers around us, protecting us. They were tense and we took cue, not the normal soldiers you see in this country dressed down sporting World War II weapons. These were battle ready soldiers. Covered in body armor, grenades on belts, clips loaded into modern weapons. We knew they weren’t messing around, we were surrounded by enemies and they were prepared for trouble. It was quite a sight, as we walked though the Arab town, people living in poverty surrounded us. We saw a dead sheep being dragged down the road, donkeys and chickens walking around the streets and eyes on us everywhere. When we arrived, in the main part of town we found at least 500 men, mostly dressed in black and white. They were singing, dancing and praying, joy was abundant as we celebrated the lives of our fore parents. We entered the building and pushed our way through the praying masses to find the spot where they are buried, the actual spot is in the caves below but this was as close as anyone was getting. Goosebumps covered our arms you could feel the power of that spot on that moment. We all stood in awe of the amazing sight, surrounded by our fellow Jews. We ran into friends from Jerusalem and shared in what we all agreed was a magical moment. Without a proper Shabbos meal planned we went in search of food. After wandering around aimlessly (but staying well within the area we knew to be safe, right mom :) we found a meal. Thanks to an angel a man dressed all in white we managed to find a wonderful meal surrounded by scores of people we washed our hands, said the blessings and dug in. A few hours and many songs, blessings and great conversations later, we headed back to camp, pausing once again to take in the incredible sights of so many of our fellow Jews celebrating our birthright. Little did we know that would be the last time we’d be allowed in, to that most mysterious and wondrous place. Full and tired we settled in for the night, the night came and went with little drama, unless you count me nearly freezing to death because I’m an idiot. I stupidly forgot a basic rule of outdoor survival: in the desert, temperature extremes are the norm, very hot and very cold are a rule and you’d better be prepared. I wasn’t but luckily my travel mates were and thankful they bailed me out. Finally warm, full and happy I dropped off to sleep on the hard ground, completely unaware of the scene that I’d have to deal with in the morning. I awoke early and went outside, within a short time the sun and the temperature and both risen considerably. One of my travel buddies and I were both awake and decided we’d like to go back to the main area and see what was going on, as we walked down the dusty road we looked around, tension was in the air. Then we arrived at the check point before town. We were asked for our id’s and we gave them. Before I knew what was happening me and my friend were separated, and questions were being asked. When it was all over we were told to turn around and not so politely told not to come back to Hebron. Apparently we were entering a ‘closed military zone’. And so with little fanfare we did just that, as we went to leave a solider shouted something at me in Hebrew that I couldn’t understand but my friend translated it for me; “tell your friend to take that stupid ‘effing kippa off his head he’s not fooling anyone.” Shocked but not harmed we went back, resigned to waiting around for the next twelve hours or so until the sun went down and we could get on a bus and leave town. And that should be the end of this story. But boredom can do funny things to people and before long we stuck up a conversation with a soldier hanging around our camp sight. We told him what had happened to us and he persuaded us to coming back up the road with him. Assuring us nothing would happen to us and he’d sort the whole thing out. And so we went, we knew before long that it was a bad idea. A solider was on his radio when he spotted us and before we had a chance to turn around we ran into a line of men. They grabbed me and my friend and pushed us into a car. Our other two friends were stopped and told to turn around. As I sat in the car I decided to have a look around I had barely turned my head before an Israel FBI agent pushed me against the car seat to told me to shut up (strange I didn’t say anything) we were questioned again mostly in Hebrew (very fun for me since I couldn’t understand a thing, I mostly stayed quiet) before long, they got in the car with us and drove down the road thirty feet or so. We kept quite and after a few minutes an officer came into the car. He asked us why we had come back and told us we had been warned, normally that would mean a night or two in jail. For whatever reason we were released, and told once again not to come back, we couldn’t get back to camp fast enough. The story as we were told by our soldier friend was that radical left wing, Arab sympathizers has set a filed on fire the night before and they thought we were part of that group, they didn’t want any trouble from anyone and we were not the only ones who were refused entrance into Hebron that day. Finally the sun went down and we retuned to Jerusalem aka home, with no further incidents. My final thoughts on the trip to Hebron are this: first Friday was a beautiful experience, it was amazing to be in that environment, just when we had just about given up on finding dinner we found it, all of us were extremely grateful. Second since nothing happened to us, this is one of the greatest stories of my life, and must crack the top three and everyone at my Yeshiva wants to hear the story. Third after being in Israel for almost two weeks, Jerusalem has really begun to feel like home. We all felt extremely thankful to see the walls of the old city. So a GREAT trip, even if by the end we all felt like crap, and wanted nothing more then to head home and NEVER return to Hebron ever again. Eretz Israel!!

Cuts, bug bites and bruises

I was looking at my hands this morning and I realized something. Since I’ve gotten to Israel I seem to be acquiring a lot of cuts, bug bites and bruises. I’ve also been mildly sunburned which has turned into a nice deep tan and my body aches. I realized all of this while looking at my somewhat scared body and got very excited! This is why I took off on this adventure after all! My life in New York was great but it felt so sterile, so planned so routine. Here my life certainly follows a schedule. I have classes and many days I simply read, write in this blog, or have discussions with people. But it’s all so constantly in flex, in motion and I love it. This trip was after all a relatively big move it wasn’t the safe thing to do as my body reflects and it’s exactly what I needed. Just a thought I had today in class that I wanted to get down, I miss the US some days but my sore, tired and much maligned body is suffering for the sake of my soaring soul.

A Challenge

This place is really intellectually challenging especially to my liberal northeastern upbringing. I’ve been realizing in the last couple of years that I’m not nearly as liberal as I once thought I was, but it can still be quite a shock when I find a teacher talking about things and I find myself agreeing. Only to realize after some thought that many of my friends at home would think me quite the radical for agreeing with those ideas. But you know what? That’s okay, because it shows my willingness to grow and expand as a human being. After all Winston Churchill said “any man who is under thirty and not a liberal has no heart, any many who is over thirty and not a conservative has no brains.” Not to mention I’ve always had the motivation to challenge my own ideas and the openness to realize I could be wrong. Still it can be quite a shock just the same after all these years, in addition to that my father is no liberal in the American sense of word and I am my father’s son, that’s for certain. Some notes from the last week of classes:

“Judaism is the world’s most politically incorrect idea system”; “America was made great by a bunch of non-Jews who believed in Jewish values and has been taken down by a bunch of Jews who don’t believe in Jewish values.” – Ken Spiro

“How did g-d create the universe? It doesn’t really matter at this point does it?”; “The point of creation is so that g-d should have a dwelling in your most basic, most physical, darkest places.” – Yom Tov Glazer

“The world is more of a thought then a thing” – G. Schroeder, he more then anyone else makes me feel like I’m in the movie Waking Life, which I mentioned in a past post.

“No one can do it perfectly, that’s impossible. It’s a question of how honest you are with yourself.”; “There’s a difference between having an open mind and a hole in your head.”; “In life if you don’t have gratitude you’ll have nothing.”; – M. Berger, he’s quickly becoming my favorite Rabbi here, I don’t agree with him about everything(or much really) but he always leaves me thinking.

“The price you pay for love is commitment.” – S. Schwartz