Whoa! What the hell happened to September, it’s almost over already, life has been crazy busy and wonderful since my last post, no I haven’t given up on blogging. I’ve just been trying to be more in the moment, not to mention having lots and lots and lots of reading / work to do. So I haven’t been worried about posting on the blog. But needless to say I have not forgotten nor do I plan on stopping my often rambling reflections.
I do feel it’s important to get perspective from time to time and I still enjoy the process of thinking, planning and writing. My classes are engaging, and have me thinking about a myriad of topics, so I hope in the future to post my thoughts on those topics as well. We’ll see how it goes. I hope everyone's New Year was restful and inspiring and I hope that you’re all preparing to be judged on Yom Kippur, may we all merit a year filled with much happiness and love.
Shalom Aleichem
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Summer's Over
Oh summer where have you gone? It’s been over a year now since I returned home from that Maniac Mitzvah, another year gone by. When I look back and reflect on everything that has happened to me I’m amazed by where I’ve been and how far I know I still have yet to go. With August behind us and September coming in like a lion (it’s been downright cold here at night) I’m once again starting over. I’m starting graduate school in a week and a half and I’m excited and scared and nervous and ready to go. I’m looking forward to a new challenge.
But I’m always aware of how far I still have yet to go. Graduate school is not an end, it is (or should be, bizrat hashem, inshallah) a means to an end. A way to spring myself forward professionally, its funny how some things just workout exactly as you’d imagined it. When I graduated from college over three years ago I almost went straight to grad school the idea being that to make it where I’d like to go eventually I would need another degree, so how not just get it while I was already in school mode? In the end I was not ready to make that leap then. I knew that I was still to clueless about who I was and what I wanted, I needed more time.
I’ve had that time, I’ve managed to see much, learn much, laugh often, cry little and through all of that I’ve become myself.
I don’t claim perfection… just improvement, steady improvement and refinement.
And so the summer is over and once again I’m getting ready for school, there is a lot to do but it is an exciting new challenge. Through the challenges I’ve realized the impossibility of predicting what will happen with the decisions we make, about the incomprehensibility to truly predict the outcomes of our decisions. Lord knows I wasn’t expecting to be starting full time graduate school work three months ago, and in Boston of all places. Yet here I am, ready to embrace this challenge with an open heart and open mind. I know I can despair at times. I know that at some point possibly soon, I’ll question the decisions that lead me to the point I stand at out now.
For now however I’m going to try to appreciate everything that has gotten me to this point and how much I’ve had to struggle just to get where I am now and not judge myself to harshly for my past wrong decisions. After all I’m here, and it took a lot to get here and that’s worth taking a moment to appreciate.
So here’s to everyone who’s made such growth possible for me, both friends, family and those who curse me (to whom may my soul be silent) thank you for helping me along the way. I’m going to enjoy my last few days of summer, may we all have many more.
But I’m always aware of how far I still have yet to go. Graduate school is not an end, it is (or should be, bizrat hashem, inshallah) a means to an end. A way to spring myself forward professionally, its funny how some things just workout exactly as you’d imagined it. When I graduated from college over three years ago I almost went straight to grad school the idea being that to make it where I’d like to go eventually I would need another degree, so how not just get it while I was already in school mode? In the end I was not ready to make that leap then. I knew that I was still to clueless about who I was and what I wanted, I needed more time.
I’ve had that time, I’ve managed to see much, learn much, laugh often, cry little and through all of that I’ve become myself.
I don’t claim perfection… just improvement, steady improvement and refinement.
And so the summer is over and once again I’m getting ready for school, there is a lot to do but it is an exciting new challenge. Through the challenges I’ve realized the impossibility of predicting what will happen with the decisions we make, about the incomprehensibility to truly predict the outcomes of our decisions. Lord knows I wasn’t expecting to be starting full time graduate school work three months ago, and in Boston of all places. Yet here I am, ready to embrace this challenge with an open heart and open mind. I know I can despair at times. I know that at some point possibly soon, I’ll question the decisions that lead me to the point I stand at out now.
For now however I’m going to try to appreciate everything that has gotten me to this point and how much I’ve had to struggle just to get where I am now and not judge myself to harshly for my past wrong decisions. After all I’m here, and it took a lot to get here and that’s worth taking a moment to appreciate.
So here’s to everyone who’s made such growth possible for me, both friends, family and those who curse me (to whom may my soul be silent) thank you for helping me along the way. I’m going to enjoy my last few days of summer, may we all have many more.
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