Between men and women

I’ve been thinking recently about relationships, not necessarily romantic ones but relationships between men and women. I’ve always been the type of guy who’s primarily had close female friends. I’m not going to try to psychoanalyze what this means; I’m just stating it for a fact. My best friend from middle school Sara is still one of my closest friends, in college many of my friends were women but for the first time my closest friends were guys. I’m not talking about general friends; I’ve always made friends with lots of guys and girls in general. I’m talking about close friends, confidants.

As I’ve gotten older I’ve noticed that my friendships with women don’t last like they used to and the people I’ve come to rely on are my guy friends. Two from college and two from Israel have made it into my inner circle. In that time no women, who I still talk with regularly have made the same leap for me. It was I suppose inevitable. I only have so much time to talk with people and to keep up with them and the women I meet I tend to talk to for some time and then inevitably drift away from or they just remain friends but not confidants. I attribute this mainly to my libido, these days if I meet a girl and like her I either: chase after her and try to date her and succeed or not. It’s mostly because when I do find a girl I like and start to date her I no longer need the same kind of emotional support from my friends that women are generally better at providing. Not to mention the other woman in my life generally don’t appreciate that there are other women who I share so much with. I don’t blame them I’d imagine it’s hard enough for women to share their men with their mothers and sisters much less other women.

It’s kind of sad in one respect on the other hand it’s an inevitable reality I don’t have the time or the inclination to spend the necessary time to foster that sort of closeness and if I do there are other motivations behind it. I guess its just part of growing up, maybe it’s just me. I’m not sure but it’s what I was thinking about this morning.