Who does Israel belong to?

An Israeli Sense of Humor at UN set the record straight.

An ingenious example of speech and politics occurred recently in the United Nations Assembly and made the world community smile.

A representative from Israel began: 'Before beginning my talk I want to tell you something about Moses: When he struck the rock and it brought forth water, he thought, 'What a good opportunity to have a bath!'

Moses removed his clothes, put them aside on the rock and entered the water. When he got out and wanted to dress, his clothes had vanished. A Palestinian had stolen them!

The Palestinian representative jumped up furiously and shouted, 'What are you talking about? The Palestinians weren't even there then.'

The Israeli representative smiled and said, 'And now that we have made that clear, I will begin my speech...'

The UN and Autocracy

From Foreign Policy, excerpts below:

The U.N.'s relationship with autocracy has always been fraught, but the organization has only grown more schizophrenic toward repressive rulers since the fall of the Berlin Wall, becoming more openly pro-democracy even as it has remained at times astonishingly accommodating of dictators. It's true that the U.N.'s commendable corps of experts has provided important technical assistance for elections in dozens of developing countries taking halting steps toward democracy in recent years. But most of the U.N. system remains a safe haven, offering an imprimatur of legitimacy that dictators often can't find elsewhere.

As the developing world increasingly came under the rule of military juntas, one-party systems, and other forms of authoritarianism, the U.N. accordingly became a place dictators were welcomed and outrageous abuses were ignored. No matter how loathed by their people, ghastly rulers like Uganda's Idi Amin could make use of the U.N. platform and continue to participate in U.N. activities even as they oversaw massive violations of human rights.

Decades later, the organization has not done much better in combating the pathologies of dictatorship within such countries. Look at Darfur, where the U.N. leadership decried widespread killing, but then stood by and watched.

Is the U.N. to blame for the persistence of dictators? In the end, the answer must be "no," if only because the U.N. does not have that much clout. Dictators come to power because of complex and powerful domestic forces, and that often gives them the ability to resist significant international pressure, much less the moral suasion and limited sanctions that the U.N. can propose.

Of course the U.N. could do more. But that would require an effort on the part of the great powers that, they haven't exactly been interested in. Unless they change their ways, both the U.N. and the dictators it gives aid and comfort to will look increasingly like relics of a bygone era.

A fly falls into a cup of coffee

The Italian - throws the cup and goes into a fit of anger.

The Frenchman - pulls out the fly and drinks the coffee.

The Chinese - eats the fly and throws out the coffee.

The Russian – drinks the coffee with the fly.

The Israeli - sells the coffee to the Frenchman, the fly to the Chinese, buys himself a new a cup of coffee and uses the remaining money to invent a device that prevents flies from falling into coffee.

The Palestinian - blames the Israeli for having thrown the fly in his coffee, complains to the UN for this act of aggression, receives a loan from the European Union to buy a cup of coffee, uses the money to purchase explosives and then explodes himself in a cafe, where the Italian, Frenchman, Chinese, and Russian, are all trying to explain to the Israeli that he should give his cup of coffee to the unfortunate Palestinian.