A local call

And one more joke for Monday afternoon...

While on vacation in Rome, I noticed a marble column in St. Peter's with a golden telephone on it. As a young priest passed by, I asked who the telephone was for. The priest told me it was a direct line to heaven, and if I'd like to call, it would be a thousand dollars. I was amazed, but declined the offer.

Throughout Italy, I kept seeing the same golden telephone on a marble column. At each, I asked about it and the answer was always the same.

I continued my tour and arrived in Israel. I decided to attend temple services at a local synagogue. When I walked in the door I noticed the golden telephone. Underneath it there was a sign stating:"DIRECT LINE TO HEAVEN: 1 shekel."

"Rabbi," I said, "I have been all over Italy and in all the cathedrals I visited, I've seen telephones exactly like this one. But the price is always a thousand dollars. Why is it that this one is only 1 shekel?"

The rabbi smiled and said,"You're in Israel now. It's a local call."

Who does Israel belong to?

An Israeli Sense of Humor at UN set the record straight.

An ingenious example of speech and politics occurred recently in the United Nations Assembly and made the world community smile.

A representative from Israel began: 'Before beginning my talk I want to tell you something about Moses: When he struck the rock and it brought forth water, he thought, 'What a good opportunity to have a bath!'

Moses removed his clothes, put them aside on the rock and entered the water. When he got out and wanted to dress, his clothes had vanished. A Palestinian had stolen them!

The Palestinian representative jumped up furiously and shouted, 'What are you talking about? The Palestinians weren't even there then.'

The Israeli representative smiled and said, 'And now that we have made that clear, I will begin my speech...'