The countdown officially begins

Isn’t it weird how you can trick yourself into believing things sometimes? Case in point I spent all last week ‘not’ freaking out about my trip. I talked to tons of people most of which I got one of two responses from: “That’s amazing, have a wonderful time”, or “Wow your effing crazy” and everyone asked me how I was feeling. And I glibly assured everyone that I was feeling great, wasn’t worried a bit and taking care of business. And I even managed to convince myself of this. But here is there truth: I was freaking out, totally and completely. Luckily for me I have wonderful people in my life. On Saturday me and an old college roommate, one of my best friends caught the New York Metropolitans game in Flushing Meadows, a weekend we had had planned for over a month. When we made the plans we weren’t expecting the Met’s to be fights for their playoff lives, but they were. And so we witnessed a truly magical game, needing a win badly the Mets put a hurting on the visiting Nationals. The intrepid John Maine came within four outs of a no hitter, it was one of the greatest games I’ve ever been to. (note: they got creamed the next day and missed the playoffs, in one of the biggest collapses in sports history but I don’t want to talk about it) that game was still remarkable. The next morning we caught the new Wes Anderson movie the Darjeeling Limited. I could try to describe why I love his movies so much but as with all great art I can’t. This movie like his other three, The Life Aquatic, The Royal Tannenbaum’s and Rushmore just makes me feel good about life. It might be the best of the bunch, maybe it’s just because it’s a story about a spiritual journey and I’m about the embark on my own, but I couldn’t hide my smile as I walked out of the theatre. As we walked home I was stuck (not for the first time) by the beauty of New York, it was a picture perfect autumn day. And I was inspired to create a: why I love New York post for this blog. I can think of no better tribute for the city that has given me without a doubt the greatest year of my life. Look for a picture collection courtesy of my new camera before I leave. I then spent the rest of the day with my family, watching football and sleeping on the couch. It was just what I needed to clear my head. Because as I was saying at the beginning of this post I was not dealing with my move well, it’s not easy to just pick up a leave a place you love to chase a dream. What if that dream is just a seductive illusion? What if I find out my adventure is an exercise in futility and I could have gotten what I wanted in New York, a place where I’m happy? These are questions that haunt me. Unfortunately I’ll never know the answers all I can do is trust my instinct and accept that I’ll never know everything. I have to thank my wonderful family and friends for helping me collect my thoughts and for listening to me. I am truly blessed to have people in my life who understand me so well. And so my journey is a scarce three weeks away. My plans are now coming together; I got accepted into school, made my flight plans and created a very long list of things to do. It’s all beginning to become very real now. Enjoy the beautiful autumn season.