I wrote to a friend about this topic recently:
For now I'm enjoying where I'm at I met a great rabbi in Boston who takes care of me, I always wondered what it would like to feel like a part of a (religious) family it’s so nice… my summer will be filled with hard work and Torah, doesn't sound so bad right? Camp has a wide, diverse range of people with a wide and diverse range of religious practices. So I'm enjoying talking to the rabbis and kids there. I've been thinking a lot about the question, am I orthodox, and ignoring the fact that I reject the term orthodox i.e. approved; conventional or rigid for the moment (I prefer religious) to which there is no doubt the answer.
In many real ways I am orthodox, if not always in practice (though I'm getting there) then for sure in the way I approach it. I read an article that got me thinking from the Jewish Press entitled: “AMERICA'S UNORTHODOX ORTHODOX JEWS: A CONVERSATION WITH PROFESSOR JEFFREY GUROCK” this is what it had to say:
The Jewish Press: Your book, devoted to American Jewish Orthodoxy, includes Jews who work on Shabbat. In what sense is someone who works on Shabbat Orthodox?
Gurock: He's Orthodox in the sense that he understands what the requirements of the halacha are. This individual is very guilty about his inability to observe Shabbat, but there are certain basic economic exigencies that force him to work to support his family.
Some would argue that working on Shabbat makes a person, a priori, not Orthodox.
Obviously people are entitled to their opinion, but no one observes all the mitzvot. What makes someone Orthodox is his understanding that one is required to observe the mitzvot. Someone could be a Reform Jew and observe many of the mitzvot, but he's not Orthodox because this is a personal decision he makes not based upon a belief in a halachic tradition.
After spending all week at Camp, I came back to my adopted community in Boston for Shabbat. I davened at the Kollel: all were happy to see me; I’ve become a real member of this community despite our differences. I guess on some level I just like sticking out. It’s so black hat, know what I mean? And yet they welcome me with open arms, it’s a committed Torah community that believes what it has is good and all who want to share in it are welcome, I like that about it very much.
At dinner I got in a discussion with a guest about sports, really it became about my rejection or lack thereof of ‘pop culture’ I won’t go into the details, it didn’t get heated, I just felt as though I was being talked at, not with. Something I have a problem with in all circumstances but I let it go, what I wanted to say was “F*** you. I love Torah, I fear god, leave me the hell alone.” I didn’t… but I think I got my point across just the same.
Shabbat day, I ate with my adopted family, and held two informal shirum for the young boys who show up with their dads to the shul. What did we talk about? Mostly sports, also myself, my family, my search for Torah. The children in this community are great, they don’t have TV’s, or the internet in their houses and yet they’re still a part of the world, they love the Red Sox. They’re fascinated by me and I enjoy exposing them to a very small part of my life and what brought me to Torah. I try to tell them they will and should struggle with Torah, but that I believe it is good. It’s fun for both sides. When this first started happening I was a little afraid that their parents wouldn’t be okay with my topics of conversation. But I’ve spoken with many of their fathers and mothers and their okay with it, they know me, they trust me it’s amazing.
I spent motzi Shabbat reading late into the night, back to Camp on Monday.
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