Four Kinds

I have a confession to make: I didn't build a sukkah this year. Truth be told I really only thought about it today and now its to late. And I'm a bit upset with myself. Sukkot is about togetherness, its about the interconnectedness of everyone and everything. It reminds us that we as human beings come in an infinite number of shapes and sizes and colors but we're all in this crazy mess together. Its weird I feel bad right now, knowing I didn't made any effort for the holiday this year. It's only now that its right on top of me that I've thought of any of this at all. But thats okay, I'm still so new at all this. I never grew up with any or it and right now I'm in exile. Last year I didn't do anything for it I was to busy getting ready to leave for Israel, the year before that I had a wonderful Shabbat meal in a sukkah in Long Beach, Long Island. It was one of those moments for me. I spent the entire meal talking with the Chabbad Rabbi about the nature of reality and our reality as Jews. It was one of those moments that lead me to where I am today.

But now this year, I've got nothing. I should have planned better, but I didn't. And I'm finding myself both agitated over this and also strangely fine with it. I've been thinking about it and I think it comes down to this. I'm tired of intruding on other peoples holidays. I'm sick of calling people up for Shabbat plans, I'm tired of spending every holiday away from my own space. I'm just sick of intruding on other peoples plans. I want to have my own life, my own community and for right now its just not there. It doesn't exist for me, and that kind of stinks. But its just the reality of the situation. The other reality is also that the last few years while I had a more active / participatory holiday. I didn't understand that what I was doing. Now this year I'm so much more in tune with what it all means and why we do it. Which is amazing. I never could have imagined that I would ever flow with the cycles of the Jewish year.

I want to share a Midrash(commentary) on Sukkot. Besides building a structure and eating in it we are also commanded to shake four materials together during the week, why do we do this? The Midrash says:

The etrog has both a taste and an aroma; so, too, do the people of Israel include individuals who have both Torah learning and good deeds.... The date (the fruit of the lulav) has a taste but does not have an aroma; so, too, do the people of Israel include individuals who have Torah but do not have good deeds.... The hadas has an aroma but not a taste; so, too, do the people of Israel include individuals who have good deeds but do not have Torah.... The aravah has no taste and no aroma; so, too, do the people of Israel include individuals who do not have Torah and do not have good deeds.... Says G-d: "Let them all bond together in one bundle and atone for each other."

The four materials remind us of the interconnectedness of the world and individuals, we all play a role, we are at times all of the materials. And we all matter.